Siblings
by Crobdan
Summary: Fifth time posting this. Anyways, highest rated FLCL fan fiction, blah blah blah. Read it, if you don’t like, don’t flame. You’re the only one who cares.
1. Well, this is a fine start

Siblings: Welcome to the all new Siblings. I am your female host… Title! Yeah… That'll work…

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NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. There is nothing in the rules against MOVIE SCRIPT FORMAT! THIS IS NOT CHAAAAAAAAT FORMAT! NOR IS IT SCRIPT FORMAT! IT IS MMMOOOOVVVIIIIEEE SCRIPT FORMAT! MOVIE OKAY! OKAY DAMN YOU! And just in case anyone was curious. I had a total of 71216 words and 268 reviews. Fucking Fanfiction dot com. There as bad as DeviantART. Witch I am currently posting my art at. All jokes I've stolen have been okayed by there original creators. I asked them before hand. Also, I shall be posting new chapters at DeviantART. You should join DA. They treat you right there.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN ALL!

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till today…

Kamon: NAOTA! GET UP! You'll be late for school!

Naota: When has he ever cared if I was late or not?

Kamon: Naota! GET UP! I wanna ask the nurse at your school if she's free tonight! And I wanna do it before her husband gets there!

Naota: Oh… That explains it…

In the distance, a motor is herd roaring, sound like a vespa's motor. SHIT! I just gave it away didn't I? Crap! I always do this! Like when I ruined the movie Signs for my friend Frank! UHHH! I'm so bad at this! WHY DO WE THIS LIVE?

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LATER, AT THE SCOOL!

Ninamori: Naota your late!

Gaku: Yeah, the teacher is going to be pissed.

Naota: So? I'm always late. Who cares?

Ninamori: Naota, if you keep coming to school late you'll keep getting detentions. And those go on your permanent record!

Naota: Like I said. So?

Before Ninamori or Gaku could answer Masashi came running towards me and said.

Masashi: Hey Naota, there's some person on a vespa that's looking for you.

Naota: Vespa?

Masashi: Yeah, with a "P!" sticker on it.

I grabbed onto Masashi's collar and shook wildly.

Naota: WHERE? WHERES THE PERSON WHOS LOOKING FOR ME?!?

Masashi: ACK! CHOKING! ME!

Naota: ANSWER DAMNIT!

Masashi: That… way… (Points to where he ran from.)

I dropped Masashi and quickly sprinted into the direction he pointed to.

Ninamori: Naota come back! What about school? 'P!' sticker?

Masashi: (Gasping for air.) Lit-Little help hear?

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For 5 minutes I ran, not looking back. Someone on a vespa was looking for me! It had to be Haruko, no one else would have a 'P!' sticker! No one sane anyways! It had to be her! It just had to be her-

WHAM!

When I woke up I realized that I ran right into lamp post. Idiot.

Shadowy figure: Hey kid, are you all right?

Naota: Ow, yeah, I'm used to this sort of thing-

(I'm not giving him a new description, okay, maybe I'll tweak it just a little bit.) And that's when I saw him. A man just a few feet taller than Haruko was, long, flowing blond hair with yellow/green eyes that seemed all too familiar. He was wearing a white shirt with a sleeveless trench coat, black jeans with black boots, along with dark brown biker gloves. And to top it off, he was sitting on a black (everyone loves that color!) vespa with a 'P!' sticker on it.

No longer shadowy figure: Well if you're all right, I should be going. I'm looking for a kid named Naoto, have you seen him? Have you? (Looks at watch) Come on I'm busy. Answer.

Naota: Yeah, I'm Naoto.

Just than the strangers eyes lit up, and he smiled ear to ear. Witch is kinda weird if you think about it.

Still no longer shadowy figure: Naota Nandaba?

Naota: That's me.

The strange man then picked me up by the neck and squeezed tightly.

Strange man: I CAN'T BELIVE I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU! SO HAPPY!

Naota: ACCCCK! THAT HURTS! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHO ARE YOU?

There was a long pause before the strange man answered.

Crobdan: I'm Crobdan, Harukos brother.

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END OF CHAPTER 1! You can stop screaming now. Really, stop. That shit's annoying.

Chris: Whoooooooo! Cliffhanger! If anyone likes this, I'll be sure to write the next chapter!

Crobdan: I doubt it.

Chris: Hey fuck you. And just so know, this isn't a Mary Sue story, or whatever it's called. Crobdan's just a mixture of my name… and… and stuff… Crap, I have to do this for at lest 99 more chapters… (Review please! No. Flamers.)


	2. It all goes down hill from here

Siblings: Refurnish the couch dammit!

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NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER: I am disclaiming.

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till today…

Crobdan: I'm Crobdan, Harukos brother.

He said as he let go of me.

Naota: Say wha?

Crobdan: I'm Harukos brother, is that so hard to believe Ta-kun?

Naota: Well, yeah. It is hard to- HEY! Don't call me Ta-kun! It's deeming to be called by my brother's nickname.

Crobdan: What's the matter Ta-kun? Don't you like that name? You didn't seem to mine when Haruko called you that. Hmmm? Is there a reason? Hmmmm? (I made him more annoying!)

Naota: (grunt) Anyway, what kind of Japanese name is Crobdan?

Crobdan: We're speaking English right now and you're asking me about my name? (First instant of breaking fourth wall)

Naota: Point taken. Why are you here?

Crobdan: Your head is the only one that works, remember Ta-kuuuuuuuun?

Naota: So you're here to use me? Just like your sister?

Crobdan: You could say it like that. A little piece of Atomsk power is still inside you, a very small piece, a little, tiny, thing… And Haruko wants me to get every last bit of it!

Naota: I don't believe you. If what you were saying was true, why doesn't Haruko come here herself instead of sending her so-called brother?

Crobdan: She's still searching for the rest of Atomsk in space, so she sent me here to get the rest of the power from you.

Naota: She must really love Atomsk to have kept searching for him for two years.

Crobdan: The fuck? Where did you hear that bullshit? Was it the media?

Naota: Huh? What do you mean? Isn't that why she wants him so bad?

Crobdan: Hell no! He's a freaking giant bird! That kind of relationship would never work! She would be crushed! (BUH DUM THSS!)

Naota: But Amarao said-

Crobdan: Amarao was lying to you. Haruko wants to merge with Atomsk, like you did. She's power hungry God damnit! Damn him I say!

Naota: …Oh, that explains a lot.

Crobdan: I don't see what so special about you thought.

Naota: What?

Crobdan: My sister has a very high interest in you. What with having such a high threshold for pain and all. Plus you were the first guy to ever say 'I love you' to her.

Naota: I was?

Crobdan: Yep! Except for one other guy who's in the government now. He said he loved her. But he was feeling her up when he did it so it doesn't count.

Naota: …

Crobdan: Shouldn't you be in school right now?

Naota: SHIT! I knew I was forgetting something! I have to go!

Crobdan: See you after school Ta-kun! Meet me under the bridge, I have something I need to give to you!

Naota: Okay… Weirdo.

Crobdan: I heard that!

And with that, I ran off. Really fast, I didn't care if this guy was Harukos brother, he seemed bat shit crazy to me.

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END OF CHAPTER 2!

Chris: AGH! Too much talking in this chapter! Hopefully the next one won't be so boring. Review if you want. Flamers probably welcome. But only on Mondays. And when I say Mondays I mean never. Fuckin listen to this warning. Or don't. I don't care...


	3. Question I ask should not be answered by...

Siblings: We appear to be experiencing technical difficulties... And shit like I've never seen. Damn you Futurama! Damn you and your ability to make me unoriginal!

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NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. Movie script format is okay. Morons. If you think it's not go fuck yourself. Ass. DAMN YOU FANFICTION DOT NET! For those of you who don't ALREADY know, Fanfiction dot net deleted my story. Why? I do not know. I STILL DON'T! RAHHHHHHHH!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FLCL, I do own the name "Crobdan". It is trademarked by me. That's right bitches. That name is mine! NO STEALY! Or I will cut you.

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till today...

(I had fun with this...) All throughout school I could only think of what Crobdan was going to give me. It was probably something from Haruko, but still, if it was something from her, would I want it? Maybe it was candy. I would like some candy. I like candy. That or a vespa... Or a vespa made of candy- DAMMIT! What the hell is wrong with me? God dammit, it's that kid in the back row. He's smoking weed again I just know it! That asshole, and the teacher won't say anything about it cause he buys HIS weed from the very same kid! Or maybe he's just to depressed over the fact that his wife left him again for a fourteen year old Porto Rican boy who doesn't know any better. That dumb basterd. The signs were right in front of him all along! He should have known that his wife wasn't REALLY giving that boy private lessons. I mean, his wife wasn't even a teacher! She was the manager of that Starbucks down the street! I mean, CHRIST! How fucking stupid can you be? God… I hate this school... Why, if Haruko was still here I would ask her to-

Speaker: RINNNNNNNG! RINNNNNNNNNNG! I'M RINNNNNNGING! IT'S TIME TO GO! RINNNNNNG! LEAVE ALREADY! DAMMIT! RINNNG!

Gaku: I swear to god there is something seriously wrong with our principle.

Teacher: Okay, that was the bell… Sorta. Everyone leave now, teacher has a hangover. Uhhh... And this infernal itching. I knew that bitch would end up leaving me something, but I was really hoping for custody over the kids. Not THIS!

Ninamori: But teacher, Naota was late!

Naota: DAMMIT ERI! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

Teacher: Wha, oh, everyone leave except Naota. Naota, you stay after school for one hour, because you where late and because you just cussed. Little bastard, have your parents taught you nothing?

Naota: FUCK!

Teacher: Two hours.

I then quickly glared at Ninamori. Giving her a "What the fuck" look.

Ninamori: If you're ever going to grow up Naota, you got to learn to accept responsibility.

She then smiled, flipped me off and left the class room. I was about to yell something back at her but I saw a quick glimpse of her panties and felt as if that was revenge enough for me (This doesn't make that much sense if you think about it, but I still do not care). Heh, cat panties. I have to make fun of her for that later.

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TWO HOURS LATER! UNDER DA BRIGE!

Crobdan: (Reading something horrible.) What took you? Were you masturbating? Cause according to this book you humans tend to do that a lot.

Naota: Fuck no you sick bastard! Ninamori told the teacher I was late so I had to stay after school.

Crobdan: Aw, trouble with your girlfriend, eh? Girlfriend giving you lip? (Literally in some cases?) Or an old fashion Oral Hand Job?

Naota: Ninamori is not my girlfriend! (...Oral hand job?)

Crobdan: Sounds like a girlfriend. I bet she's a wild thing during the hot dry sex you guys have. I also would bet you have a nick name for her. Something like Jibbercunt or something like that-

Naota: That's SICK! Were only 14 years old! (And how does that sound like a girlfriend?)

Crobdan: This coming from a kid who kissed a 19 (that's what you think anyways) year old alien (who knows where she's been?), who let a 17 year old girl give him hickeys, who-

Naota: Okay! Okay! I know I haven't done the most innocent things in the past, but still what you said was damn nasty.

Crobdan: What are you? Gay? Bi? ...Gay?

Naota: Wha? NO! I just don't like Ninamori like that!

Crobdan: Suuuuuure you don't...

Naota: I DON'T!

Crobdan: Okay, if you say so.

Naota: ...Heh.

Crobdan: What?

Naota: Well, you may be Harukos brother, but you don't act like her at all...

Crobdan: And what would be wrong with acting like Haruko?

Naota: Nothing really, except constantly hitting me with a stupid guitar.

Crobdan: Bass.

Naota: Whatever. Say, you're not going to hit me with a guitar or something, are you?

Crobdan: GAH! I'm insulted you would say such a thing!

Naota: (sigh) It's good to know my head is safe.

Crobdan: Oh, I am going to hit you in the head. But not with a guitar.

Out of nowhere, he pulls out a custom black and red (mostly black) bass, the strings glowing light blue and the base shaped like a huge ax. The base itself was about the size of me.

Crobdan: I'm goanna hit you with THIS!

Naota: OH SHI-

SPLLLLLERK (or whatever the hell an ax hitting a head would sound like. I wouldn't know, I've only heard it twice.)!

Thud! Naota hits the floor like a stack of bricks. His head gushing blood like a geyser. A brick geyser.

Crobdan: Hey Ta-kun! Before you black out I would just like to say, that's what Haruko wanted me to give to you!

Crobdan paused before adding-

Crobdan: You know maybe I shouldn't have hit him with the blade side... Oh well.

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END CHAPTER THREE DAMMIT!

Chris: If you really want to see what Crobdan's bass looks like, go to google and search for 'Play Mind Monster rock skinny toy'. Click on the first link that shows up. I like that bass. Review please. NO FLAMERS! Flamers are jibbercunt's. I love that word. IT'S CUNTULER! God I'm drunk.

Crobdan: I though I told you to stay out of MY STASH!

Chris: NOT THE FACE!


	4. You still here?

Siblings: You know what I don't get? Why they censor women's breasts on TV but not men's.

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NOTE: I would like to thank TS, who inspired me to write again. Anyone ever seen the movie "Wrong Turn"? There was this one part, when this mutated guy comes up behind this chick and cuts her up with razor wire by shoving it across the mouth and pulling … the blood went everywhere and I was amused. Oh how I was amused. I was kicked out of the theater for laughing, can you believe that? Fucking ridiculous.

DISCOLAIMER: I do not own FLCL, the 70's or Cartoon Network. But I do own the name Crobdan. And strangely enough, OPEC. The Ocean Pacific Eye Clinic.

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till today…

Crobdan has been standing over a heavily bleeding Naota for twenty-five minutes, wondering how he is going to fix up the wound he inflected.

Crobdan: These humans are so odd. It's been a half-hour and the wound still isn't healed! Hmm… Looks like I'm going to have to patch it up. But how am I going to stop the bleeding? Did Haruko even tell me that? Hmmm…

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FLASHBACK!

Crobdan: So all I have to do is hit him with my bass, and his N.O. channel will reopen? Is that it?

Haruko: Yep!

Crobdan: Then what?

Haruko: Well, then maybe he'll bleed for a little bit. Than something will pop out of his head. Try to hit him hard enough so that it's Atomsk instead of just another robot.

Crobdan: But I thought you wanted me to be gentle with your boyfriend. Or has being around you made it so he likes it rough?

Haruko: …Do you enjoy living?

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END FLASHBACK!

Crobdan: Damn! That flashback didn't work… Hmm, maybe if I hit him again. Yeah, that makes sense. In fact, it's fool proof! The pieces just fit together so well!

Right then, Ninamori came under the bridge shouting-

Ninamori: NAOTA! Are you down here-

Ninamori looks down, seeing Crobdan about to slam his bass into Naotas head wound.

Ninamori: What the hell? What are you doing to him?

Crobdan: (Whispering) SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I've been found out! Oh well, might as well make the best of it… (No longer whispering) Hey you! You wi- You with- You with the… You! Can you help me out? How do I stop his blood from coming out? I've been waiting for a half hour and its still shooting out blood like a god damn hose. It hasn't healed on its own or anything. I am trying to explain this in a way your feeble mind can understand. (Certainly not trying to cover up for my bad writing skills. Goodness no.)

Ninamori: …What are you, an idiot or something? Cuts don't heal right away, it'll take more than a "half hour", for a wound that big to fix itself. How fucking stupid does someone have to be to not know-

Crobdan: ARE YOU GOING TO HELP OR NOT? CHRIST!

Ninamori: Fine, but only if you tell me what's going on.

Crobdan: Deal. (Thinking) Fuck… (No longer thinking) Hey, aren't you the least bit worried about the fact that a complete stranger is standing over your heavily bleeding friend with a bloody bass in his hand?

Nina...Nin…Ni... Fuck it, I'm just going to write Eri: Well I am now!

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THE BAKERY! AHHHHGAGGAAAA!

Mana: Goths! I dated one of those

Yuko: Dated as in serviced him sexually.

Mana: Goths, they spread.

END DREAM!

Naota: UHH! What the hell was up with that dream?

Naota wakes up in a cold sweat. Burrrrr chilly.

Crobdan: It's about time you woke up.

Naota: Where am I? What's this on my head?

Crobdan: You're at your house and that's a bandage.

Naota: Where's my shirt?

Crobdan: It was covered in bloooooooood. So your dad took it off you. Your pants are still bloody, and like hell was I gonna touch those. You should go to the bathroom and change. Go on now.

Naota: …

Naota then proceeded into the bathroom, unzipping his pants as he closed the door. Just about the time he slipped off his horrible boxers, Ninamori entered the bathroom.

Crobdan: Oops, I forgot to tell you Ninamori. Naotas in there.

Right then, about a half-a-gallon of blood shot form Ninamori nose as a look of pure orgasmic joy crossed her face if only for a second, before see blushed and turned her head away.

Eri: I-I-I'll be right back! (Runs away)

Naota: GOD DAMMIT CROBDAN!

Crobdan: HA HA HA HA HA! I'm priceless.

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Chris: This story is dedicated to a little 1st grader that said "orgasmic joy" for the answer to his English problem in the class I used to cross age tutor. It was fucking hilarious! I almost died laughing! Review Please! No flamers damnit.

Mana: I ENJOY SEX!

Chris: Ha, only two people will get this joke. Two sexy people.

E Crobdan: Two sexy people who will probably hate you for saying that. Apologize.

Chris: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry- Hey, who are you?

E Crobdan: …Yoink! (Runs off)

Chris: Huh… That wa-was weird-

BLAM!

…And that's how I sign off on message boards.


	5. Sazbot

Siblings: Why can't I say Jesus Christ on TV anymore? Am I gonna offend the Christians? Fuck them! I'm already going to hell, witch I don't believe in. Futurama just doesn't sound right with out them saying "sweet zombie Jesus".

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A Note: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

EL DISCLAIMER: I do not own FLCL, I only own the name Crobdan and FLCL Saltwater taffy. And Naota apparently is owned by TS. Who says I can't take criticism well? No one, that's who, anyone who says different is a lying asshole

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. Seriously, nothing. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. All alone. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till today…

Naota: I can't believe you did that you fucker!

Crobdan: Did what Ta-kun (and watch your mouth)?

Naota: You told Ninamori she could use the bathroom when I WAS IN IT!

Crobdan: Why are you bitching so much about it? She's your girlfriend after all. You to probably see each other naked all the time.

Naota: SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFREND! I don't like her like that!

Crobdan: That's not what your journal says.

Crobdan holds up Naotas Journal.

Naota: GAH! GIVE ME THAT!

Crobdan keeps Naota back by placing his foot on Naotas head, and then starts reading from the journal out loud. That jerk.

Crobdan: "Dear journal, Ninamori was wearing a lose low cut shirt today-" Heeee! What a whore!

Naota: SHE IS NOT A WHOR-

Crobdan: Continuing. "-and when she bent over I saw something that gave me the biggest bo-"

Naota: (Blushing) SHUT THE HELL UP!

Crobdan: Aw, did I make Ta-kun mad? Such impure thoughts from a boy your age. Or a boy of any age for that matter…

Just than Ninamori walked into the room. Having left to wipe the blood off her shirt. Mostly…

Eri: What's going on, now? (Trying not to look at Naotas groin. It's like a magnet to her now!)

Crobdan: Yay! Ninamori is back, come here, there's something written here that I know you'll just love-

Before Crobdan could finish Naota reached under his bunk bed, grabbed Harukos blue bass, and slammed it into Crobdan's head.

KA-THWRAK!

Naota: Didn't I tell you to SHUT UP!

Crobdan: Fuck, that hurt damnit. Ow!

Eri: You people are insane…

Naota: Why are you still here?

Crobdan: She's spending the night!

Naota: WHAT?!?

Crobdan: She was going to spend the night anyways, she hasn't left you house since you were knocked out.

Naota: Knocked out? When was this?

Eri: Three days ago.

Naota: (Font size 50) WHAAAAAAT?!?

Crobdan: Christ, don't shout. What's wrong with you? Were right here.

Naota: Why was I out for three days? What the fuck happened?

Crobdan: I hit you with my bass. Don't remember?

Naota: ……… (Sort of in a state of shock and blind anger.)

Crobdan: Guess not.

Eri: Well you did hit him in the head with a bass, its no wonder he doesn't remember. (Thinking) Thought, I'm still trying to figure out why. (No longer thinking)

Naota: …You BASTERD!

Starts choking Crobdan.

Crobdan: ACCCK! NAOTA! ACCK! DON'T BE SO VIOLENT INFRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND! ACCCK! STRONG GRIP FOR A LITTLE GUY!

Naota: SHE'S NOT MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND! (Blushing a dark red. Chokes harder.)

Canti enters the room with 3 drinks. Looking warn down. And seeming sadder despite not having a face.

Eri: Ah, thank you. (Takes a drink, presumably a sour one.)

Naota loosens his grip on Crobdan's neck. But just barely…

Crobdan: Thanks, TV-boy. (Takes the purplish green one. Wait, do sodas come in that color?)

Canti holds out the remaining drink to Naota.

Naota: Umm, thanks?

Crobdan: Hey, Canti, go get me some curry to mix with my drink.

Eri/Naota: Ewww, that's gross!

Crobdan: Ah, the young lovers are now speaking in sync.

Naota: WERE NOT LOVERS YOU STUPID BASTERD!

Naota then swung Harukos bass as hard as he could right into Crobdan's face.

KA-THWRAK!

Crobdan falls to the floor, unconscious. Bleeding blue (That was a mistake, to make it that color.) blood from his eye's of all places.

Naota: …Oops?

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Chris: I could have ended that better. I know I could. Damn. Wondering how Crobdan got knocked out by Naota, a little kid who wasn't even using the power of Atomsk at the time, yet Haruko, his sister, could still stay conscious while getting shot by a giant ass robot at point blank range. Read the next chapter to find out! Review Please. No fuckin flamers! Do you unnerstan me? Do, you, unnerstan, me?! This will be on the test.


	6. These titles are sooo relevant to the st...

Siblings: So your lifestyle is decided by faceless corporations? Welcome to humanity.

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NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. (Most likely the last one.) YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. I just hope people don't realize I suffer from DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. and I CAN'T conTROL thE VOLUME of my VOICE. Also, I'm not allowed to comment on the reviews people leave me. Also, I'm a guy. I'm not sure if that's what you meant. Buttttttttttt… I dunno. Thanks for all the reviews! I'm ignoring the flamer!

DISCLAIMER: REMIALCSID.

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Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 freakin years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as fuckin hell, that is, in till today… I mean, 3 days ago. Or something…

Eri: Shit Naota, did you kill him?

Naota: You know, I'm hoping so, but-

Crobdan: Uhhhhhh……… Cough! Cough! (Hacks up more spooky blue blood from his eyes. And you have no idea how fucked up it is to see someone spit blood from there EYES!)

Eri: Ewww! It's everywhere!

Naota: Looks like he's coming to.

Crobdan: Uhhhhhh……But Haruko…cough …I don't want to watch the snuff film……cough

Naota: Wake up!

Naota starts kicking Crobdan.

Crobdan: Uhhh…. Ow! OW! OW! STOP IT! OW! SHIT! I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! OW! FUCK!

Naota: Just checking. (smiles evilly)

Crobdan: Man, that fucking hurt! What's wrong with you? (Wipes blood away from eyes.)

Naota stairs at him blankly before shouting-

Naota: What's wrong with me? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?

Crobdan: What do you mean Ta-kun? (Thinking) Damn my blood is sticky. (Done thinking)

Naota: YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH A AX GUITAR-

Crobdan: Bass.

Naota: WHATEVER! YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH AN AX **BASS**, AND THEM BITCH ABOUT IT WHEN I DO IT TO YOU?

Crobdan: Yep. That sounds about right.

Naota: AHHHHHH! You're impossible!

Crobdan: Mission Impossible…

Naota: What?

Crobdan: You shouldn't be so mean Ta-kun.

Naota: Grrr… (thinking) He's almost as bad as Haruko. (No longer thinking)

Eri: What's with the blue blood?

Crobdan: Blue just happens to be my races (is that spelled right?) blood color.

Naota: Haruko never mentioned that.

Crobdan: Did she ever have to? Did you ever really see her bleed?

Naota: No, never saw her bleed. Not even when she got shot by that giant robot... Your pretty weak aren't you?

Crobdan: Ex-cuuuse me? What did you say, oh fragile human?

Naota: Do I really have to explai-

Crobdan: Yes.

Naota: Haruko gets smashed through a building, she gets back up. You, you get hit in the head with a bass, and get knocked out.

Crobdan: Hey cut me some slack. Harukos like,70 something years older than me, her skin had more time to get its natural invulnerability.

Naota and Ninamori just stare at him with there mouths open in disbelief.

Crobdan: What? Did I say something wrong?

Naota: 70 YEARS OLDER?

Crobdan: That's what I said. You sure do like the older women Ta-kun!

Long pause.

Crobdan: Can I sleep in the top bunk?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris: Damn, I don't know how to end this. Fuckin writers block.

Naota: Can you hurry this up? I have to be at a NinamoriXNaota story by 5:00.

Chris: Yeah, I'm sure you'd hate to miss that.

Naota: Hey shut up! A mans gotta make money somehow.

Chris: Yeah, that's the reason you're doing it. Uh-huh.

Naota: Fuck you.

Chris: Don't make me turn you into a girl.

Crobdan: To all you people reading this I say, please review. No flames god damnit!


	7. Plot? What plot?

Siblings: HOW many times do I have to tell you?! I DO NOT repeat myself!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER: MasterFuu says "SET PHASERS TO GAY!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till he came…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LATER THAT NIGHT!

Crobdan: (Whispering) Hey, Naota. Are you awake? Hey, Naota. NAOTA!

Naota: Gahh, wha? What?

Crobdan: Hey, Naota, you awake?

Naota: Well, I am now… (Thinking) Asshole. (No longer thinking, I hate writing that…)

Crobdan: How long does it usually take for something to come out of your head?

Naota: How the hell should I know-

Crobdan: It's been three days! Three days taken away from! I'll never get those days back! I'm tired of waiting!

Naota: Just be patient, it'll come (yawning) out soon enough.

Crobdan lights a cigarette and puts it in his mouth.

Naota: Those things will kill ya, you know?

Crobdan: You're such a kid.

Naota: I've come to accept that.

Crobdan: …

Five minutes pass…

Naota: (Not thinking about who he's talking to.) Do you think Haruko loves me?

Crobdan: (Almost swallows cigarette.) GAKK! HAKK! WHA- WHAT?

Naota: (Having thought about what he just said.) Nothing! Nothing! You heard nothing!

Crobdan: (Slyly) You still like Haruko don't you?

Naota: (Thinking) SHIT! (No longer thinking) NO! No! I don't love Haruko! She used me! She just wanted my head! (Hee hee, that last line sounded dirty)

Crobdan: Why don't you just admit it? I'm tired of playing these fucking games! FESS UP!

Naota: I DON'T LIKE HER DAMNIT! JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT!

Crobdan: Ga-

Right about then, a fucked up ringing sound went off from Crobdan's pants pocket.

Naota: What the hell is that?

Crobdan: My electronic penis, what do you think it is?

Naota: I can't be sure with you.

Crobdan: It's my space phone.

Naota just stares at him. Sorta giving him a "What the fuck" look.

Crobdan: Look, it sounds better than just calling it a cell phone. Okay?

Naota: Whatever…

Crobdan: Hello?... Yeah… Uh-huh… Yes… No… Noooo… NO! God no!... Yeah… Fuck yeah!... Yeah, right in the head… No… Kinda… I don't know… Squeeze WHAT?... Oh, oh, sorry… Uh-huh… Uh-huuuuuuuh… Okay… Okay… By sis! Click

Naota : (Thinking) Sis? (No longer thinking) Who was that?

Crobdan: Who do you think? It was my sister.

Naota: HARUKO?

Crobdan: No, it was Mitch and Kallen. Of course it was Haruko! You dumbass.

Naota: What'd she say? Anything about me?

Crobdan: ……You know, your not helping the "I don't still love her" argument right now.

Naota: (Thinking) SHIT! (No longer thinking)

Crobdan: Look, you answered my question. I answered yours. I'm tired. I don't know where my cigarette went. So I'm going to sleep. OKAY?

Naota: …

Crobdan: Okay…

Naota: …

Eri sticks her head out of sleeping bag she was buried in.

Eri: Do you guys smell smoke?

A little fire has stared on the bottom bunk. Presumably started when Crobdan spit out the cigarette he was choking on.

Crobdan: FUCK! FIRE!

Naota: AHHHH! PUT IT OUT! HELP! HELP!

Eri: Oh for gods sake. I'll go get the fire extinguisher…

Naota: AHHHHH! DAMN YOU CROBDAN!

Crobdan: What'd I do? You're the one who made me spit it out it in the 1st place!

Naota: CROBDAN, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE FU-

END OF CHAPTER SEVEN!

NEXT CHAPTER: I don't know. Something stupid probably.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris: God I'm tired. SpentTHREE HOURS, on this chapter. It fuckin SUCKS, being Fourteen (I'm 15 now). Review please. Flamers will be shot on sight. Shot withACTION! Action Jackson...I feel great inspiring LilHaruko to write again. At lest, I think I did. Anyways, she inspired ME, to write fan fiction. She's just that good. So if you hate my story blame her. It's her fault.

LilHaruko: Don't blame your crap on me! Haruna!

Haruna: What do you want?

LilHaruko: Attack!

Haruna: Awww… But I want to hang out with uncle Crobdan some more!

LilHaruko: I said ATTACK!

Haruna: YES MY MASTER!

Chris: Uhhh…

Haruna: DIE!

Chris: AHHHHH! CROBDAN! SAVE ME!

Crobdan: Like fuck I will! If I hurt her my sister would kill me!

Chris: AAAAAGGGGAAAAA! MY SPLEEN! IT BURNS!

Crobdan: Review please.

LilHaruko: And no flamers!

Chris: AHHHHHHAAARRA! MY SPINE doesn't BEND THAT WAY!


	8. My head hurts

Siblings: If I can drink poison twice, it's not doing its job.

* * *

A NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view (sorta), and sometimes (mostly) others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. 

DISCLAIMER: "Look out Robin! He's Amish!"

* * *

Nothing EVER, exciting happens here. It's been TWO god damn years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as FUCKIN' HELL, that is, in till the day he came… 

Naota: You are never aloud to smoke in my room again.

Naota stands in front of his bed, a charred mess. The once yellow wallpaper now resembles a black smudge. His whole room ruined, his computer, his bookshelf, his hidden porn collection no one knew about. Ruined. Nothing but ash. Man, that fuckin sucks!

Crobdan: Oh come on! There's not that much damage! Lo-Look! This-This-This… pencil… wasn't burned.

Naota: I am so close to killing you it's not even funny.

Crobdan: Uh-huh, that's great. Heeeey. Look! My sister's bass survived the fire!

Eri: You're kidding right? That thing is indestructible.

Crobdan: It would have to be if it didn't break when it was bashed against Naotas thick giant skull.

Naota: Oh your so god damn funny.

Crobdan: I know, aren't I?

Naota: Grrrrrr…

Eri: Look, you guys can bitch and fight later. What I want to know is-

Kamon: CROBDAN! ERI! NAOTA! COME DOWN! BREAKFAST IS READY!

Eri: God damnit.

Crobdan: WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

Kamon: Iloveraharu brand cereal! Is the fire out?

Crobdan: Yes!

Kamon: Okay! Come down before your cereal gets…Uhhh… cold! (Thinking) That didn't sound right… (No longer thinking)

Crobdan: YES CAP-A-TAIN!

Naota: What where you going to say Eri?

Eri: Sigh… Nothing. Nothing.

Naota: No really, weren't you about to ask-

Suddenly, Naotas eyes turn pure white and his mouth drops open. It looks like he's not even breathing.

Eri: Nao… Naota?

KA-THUMP!

Naota falls onto the floor and lays motionless. Something seems to be on the back of his head.

Eri: NAOTA!

* * *

MEANWHILE, ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF MABASE! I WISH I COULD BE UNDER THE SKIRT OF SOMEONE NAMED MABASE! AS LONG AS IT'S A GIRL! CASUE I HATE GUYS! I LOVE WOMEN! DAMN YOU CLERKS! YOU INFECTED ME! 

Amarao: Okay, what was so damn important that you had to drag me out of retirement? The fish were really biting today. Especially the salmon, sonavabitch almost took off my finger.

Kitsurubami (Who is now the Commander of the Interstellar Immigration Bureau.) toss's down 2 big ass folders. Both about the size of a phone book.

Amarao: What the hell is this?

Kitsurubami: It's the Haruhara Haruko and the Nandaba Naota files.

Amarao: Is that it? You called me down here for this? Is this just a reminder of how I failed two years ago? Is it Tuesday already?

Kitsurubami: But Amarao-

Amarao: No, shut up. Shut the hell up. There was a reason we closed these files two years ago, Kitsurubami. Haruko is never coming back. The kids N.O. filed closed. End of story.

Kitsurubami: But-

Amarao: End, of, fucking, story.

Kitsurubami: BUT-

Amarao: No "buts"! I've managed to put it all behind me. The aliens, the robots. The eyebrows.

Takes off his Battle Royale hat and starts rubbing where his eyebrows used to be.

Amarao: Maybe you should too.

Amarao is almost out the door when-

Kitsurubami: …The N.O. field.

Amarao: …What?

Kitsurubami: The child. His N.O. field is back.

Amarao: (Long pause…) Ex-excuse me? Would you repeat that one more time?

Kitsurubami: The N.O. field. (Smiles and turns around) Its baaack…

Amarao: …Son of a bitch.

* * *

MEANWHILE STILL, AT THE SCHOOL! I HATE SCHOOL! ARGGAAHH! 

Gaku: Hey, where's Eri and Naota.

Masashi: Who cares?

Gaku: You're STILL, mad over the choking thing?

Masashi: That fuckin hurt man!

Gaku: Oh come on.

Masashi: It still hurts when I move my neck!

Gaku: You're faking it.

Masashi: That's what your mom said last night.

Gaku: Asshole.

Teacher: SHUT UP YOU TWO! (Thinking) Christ, my head feels like someone hit it with a metal bat! (No longer thinking)

CRAAAASH!

The door to the class room is suddenly kicked open by a large shadowy figure. And when I say kicked open, I mean the door was kicked off its hinges and completely broken into splinters.

Teacher: AHHHHHHGAAA! MY HEAD!

Shadowy figure: SHUT UP! (Looks around the room) You two!

Gaku/Masashi: Uhh…U…Us?

S.F: YES YOU TWO! Where can I find Naota **Nandaba**?

Gaku/Masashi: W…We don't know wh…Where he is…

The shadowy figure reaches into the back of his trench coat, and pulls out a black Fender Standard Jazz Bass .And then slams it into the teacher's desk.

CRACCCCCCKKKKK!

Teacher: AHHHHHHGGGGAAA! CHRIST!

S.F: Let's try this again. Where's Naota **Nandaba**?

* * *

Chris: OOOOOOOO! Suspense! Who is this shadowy figure? Why did Naota faint and/or die? What is Kitsurubami's plan that somehow involves Amarao? And how will principal Scudworth get himself out of another dangerous pickle? Find out next time on a very special, Clone Hig- Ur, I mean, Siblings. 


	9. Love is a date rape drug

Siblings: Neither did I. Kinda funny how that worked out.

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! 

DISCLAIMER: Fan Fucking Fiction Dot Net keeps inventing new ways to piss me off.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. I mean come on! The only thing that was even remotely exciting was when my grandpa moved to America to live with my brother. (I probably should have mentioned that earlier.) It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as heck, that is, in till the day he came… 

Naota: Uhhh… What happened?

Eri: Huh? Nao... Naota? NAOTA! You're alive!

Eri starts hugging Naota, who's still on the floor. (It looks really wrong if you didn't know what was happening.) Screen does that weird anime close up thing that shows Ninamori's breasts rubbing up against Naotas body.

Eri: Oh, thank god! I thought you where dead! You didn't even have a pulse!

Naota: (Blushing) AHHHHH! Ninamori!

Crobdan sticks his head through the door way.

Crobdan: Hey Eri, what's with all the commotion- Oh, OH! (Covers eyes with hands.) Hee-hee! I hope I didn't interrupt anything!

(See? What'd I tell ya?)

Eri: What are you talkin-

Suddenly realizes the position she's in.

Eri: GAH! (Leaps off Naota. Stepping on him in the process.)

Naota: OW! Son of a-

Eri: Sorry Naota!

Naota: (Thinking) Owww… My ribs! Hurts so bad! Ow. (No longer thinking) I'm okay. (Through clenched teeth)

Crobdan: Don't act so tough. You put her (us) in quite a shock when you fainted there.

Naota: What happened?

Eri: Well, umm… How should I put this…

Crobdan: You grew a horn(s)!

Naota: WHAT?

Crobdan: (Thinking) Were going to have to get a counter for each time that word is said. (No longer thinking) It's true! It may have taken three days but they finally came out!

Naota: Christ, like I didn't have enough problems already- Wait a minute. "They"? What do you mean "they"?

Crobdan: By "they", I mean you have nine spikes coming out of your head.

Naota: **WHA**-

Crobdan: I'm getting VERY, tired, of hearing that same word come from your mouth every time I tell you something.

Naota: Well SORRY, for being surprised when you tell me things like having NINE fuckin horns growing out THE BACK OF MY FUCKIN head!

Naota tries to get up, but for some reason can't.

Naota: Hey, my heads stuck!

Crobdan: When you fell down the spikes where driven into the floor.

Naota: …Fuck-

Crobdan: You also say fuck to much.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of Mabase. GOD DAMMIT! 

Amarao: How can this be? The field was closed! How did it reopen by itself?

Kitsurubami: It didn't. It seems that it had a little help.

Amarao: From whom?

Kitsurubami: Crobdan Haruhara.

Amarao: SPPPPPPPPPP! (Spiting out his coffee.)

Kitsurubami: Amarao?

Amarao: That… That was weird. I wasn't even drinking anything.

Kitsurubami: …Okay…

Kitsurubami's assistant Ramza: Commander! There's been a report of someone using a bass to threaten children into telling the whereabouts of a Nandaba Naota!

Kitsurubami: What? Did you get a description?

Ramza: Yes commander!

Ramza hands Kitsurubami a folder with the words "classified" on it.

Kitsurubami: Oh no. Oh GOD no!

Amarao: Who is it? Crobdan?

Kitsurubami: I wish. This is worse than Crobdan. Much worse.

Kitsurubami toss's the folder to Amarao. Amarao takes one look and his eyes grow twice in size.

Amarao: Fuck. We're in deep shit.

Kitsurubami: Real deep.

Ramza: Ew.

* * *

Even more meanwhile, at the park. MOTHER FUCKER! OW! 

Shadowy figure: Fuckin kids. Passed out before they could answer me. Waste of my god damn precious time.

S.F looks around. Sees the abandon Medical Mechanical factory.

S.F.: Shit. I guess Haruko wasn't kidding.

Hops onto his dark green (with red trimming) vespa.

S.F.: She said he lived in a bakery. Hmm… That narrows my choices down to seven places... Better get stated.

* * *

Chris: More cliffhangers! I'm such a bitch! 

Eri: You sure are.

Naota: I agree.

Crobdan: Me to.

Chris: Hey shut up!

Crobdan: That's what you get for giving us free will.

Chris: I can change that you know.

Naota: We're quite aware of that.

Eri: You remind us every time we bad mouth you. Yet you never do it.

Crobdan: Dumbass.

Chris: Grrrr… I'll show you my power!

ZAP!

Eri: Please review.

Naota: And no flamers!

Un-ZAP!

Crobdan: Is that it?

ZAP!

Crobdan: I'm a little queer who has sex with underage boys while watching Will and Grace!

Un-ZAP!

Crobdan: Oh you SON OF A BITCH! Haruna! Attack!

Haruna: Yes uncle Crobdan! DIE!

Chris: NOT AGAIN! AHHHHHHHGGGGGGAAAAA!

Iloveraharu: Hey Chris! Thanks for reviewing my story again- What's going on?

Crobdan: Chris is being beat up for making me into a pedophile.

Kallen: Such violence. I don't know how you people can stand it.

Everyone just sorta stares at Kallen. The sound of Chris screaming can be herd in the background.

Kallen: What?

Naota: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Kallen: Yep. (Takes a slip of his soda.) Weird isn't it?

Mitch: Read "Furi Kuri United"! Its not just fun. Its united fun!

Iloveraharu: Oh Jesus Christ, Mitch… That was so lame.

Crobdan: Hey! No plugs!


	10. I’m not even trying any more

Siblings: There's a very good explanation for that... an explanation I will explain right now, right after I finish this sentence.

(runs away)

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! 

CHRISDISCLAIMER: All the bitch's in the back say YEAH-AH!

Dogs: Bark!

Chris: Close enough. Crobdan's name belongs to ME! Also, yaoi scares the hell out of me, and the reason for why this is the first chapter that I am answering something someone wrote in a review is… uhhhhhh… I dunno, I'm just an asshole like that I guess... I hate this chapter…

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came… 

Crobdan: Okay… One, two, three, PUSH!

Crobdan and Eri are using Harukos bass like a crowbar to get Naotas head spikes out of the floor.

Naota: OW OW OW! THAT HURTS! OW! OW!

Crobdan: It only hurts when you move. So stay still!

Naota: I can't help it! OW! FUCK! OW!

POP!

CRASH!

Naota is unstuck and is sent skyward. For he had crashed though the ceiling. Seems Crobdan and Eri pushed a little too hard on that last push... Yeeeahhh...

Eri: NAOTA!

Crobdan: He'll be fine…

Naota: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

THUMP!

Naota crashes right into the Medical Mechanical factory.

Crobdan: (Thinking) Damn… (Done thinking) Or not. Come on, let's go get him.

* * *

Meanwhile on blah blah blah of Mabase. 

Kitsurubami: Name, Bobhasparthenophobia a.k.a. BTG. What it stands for, along with his last name, is unknown.

Amarao: He is wanted on five hundred and thirty nine different charges. And if ever caught, will serve a total of Fifty nine billion years in space (unnecessary) prison without possibility of parole.

Ramza: What's the bounty on this guys head?

Kitsurubami (fuck. I wish she had a short first name. I'm getting tired of writing her name over and over and overagain.): Ninety billion.

Ramza: FUCK! That's a lot of money!

Amarao: Yeah. Our tax dollars at work.

Kitsurubami: …Tax dollars?

Ramza: How many people have tried to get it?

Kitsurubami: Half of his charges are for what he did to all those bounty hunters. Heh… Some of the stuff he did to them was actually quite humorous if you ignore how sick it was.

Ramza: ...So, no ones been able to catch him and claim all that money?

Amarao: The only person who ever did, never came back alive (Damn Invader Zim…).

Ramza: What?

Amarao: Oh, and Atomsk.

Kitsurubami: Atomsk?

Amarao: The only one to ever pull it off. The only one to ever get BTG.

Ramza: Why is this guy so powerful anyways?

Amarao: You didn't think Atomsk was the only one of his race did you?

Ramza: You mean-

Amarao: Yes. He merged with a Ksmotaopia (Atomsk's race.). And became a god (Cue dramatic music and reaction shots of other characters! Ha, it's so clichéd…).

* * *

MEANWHILE AT THE ITO DELI AND BAKERY. 

KAAAAAA-BOOOOOMMMMM!

NEVERMIND…

BTG: Fuck, he wasn't there! Looks like the last one on the list is… The Nandaba Bakery… How the hell did I miss that? God, I'm not supposed to be stupid!

(Starts revving up his vespa.)

BTG: …Well …Look out Naota. Here I come.

Chris: Doses this chapter seem short to you? It does to me.

Naota: Christ, we were hardly in this chapter at all!

Crobdan: YEAH! What's the deal?

Eri: Hey, at lest you guys had more then one line!

Chris: Look, there's a reason you guys barely have any lines this chapter.

Crobdan: Really? What is it?

Chris: Well… OM GOD! LOOK BEHIND YOU!

Eri: Oh, like were going to fall for that…

Naota: REALLY, what kind of fools do you take us for-

WHAM!

A giant wrecking ball swings by and knocks all our heroes away.

Chris: Remember this kids, don't fuckin piss off the author. He can make bad things happen to you. And please review. No flamers. Please. There's no real point to it.


	11. I will do this using CAPITALISM!

Siblings: But... Well... Hey look a distraction! (runs)

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! 

DISCLAIMER: Oh my god! I just realized something! This story has a PLOT (sorta)!

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came… 

Naota: Owww… my head…

Puts his hand on the back of his head to rub it.

Naota: OW! FUCK! MY HAND!

Naota looks at his hand and sees that it's bleeding… A lot… I need a thesaurus…

Naota: Fuckin spikes… (Looks up) What's that?

In the distance, a vespa can be seen.

Naota: Great… YOU FUCKWIT! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?

Vespa suddenly stops. Someone gets off of it and starts walking towards Naota.

BTG: What did you call me little man?

Naota: (Realizes the guy he's talking to is like, seven feet tall) …Oh, sorry! Thought you where someone else. Eh heh heh heh…

BTG: Understandable. Hey, have you seen a Naota, anywhere?

Naota: Why yes, I'm a N-

Naota suddenly gets a good look at him. Black sleeveless trench coat. Red shirt with black pants. Bass strapped to his back. Greenish yellow eyes and pinkish peach hair. Dark green vespa. White shoes that go up to his ankles. Those spiked collar things all over him.

BTG: Go on. "I'm" a what?

Naota: Nothing.

BTG: You're a nothing?

Naota: …Yes.

BTG: …Okay. I'll be off then.

Naota: (Thinking) Dodged a bullet there- (Thinking interrupted)

Crobdan: NAOTA! WATCH OUT! DON'T GO NEAR THAT GUY!

Naota: Oh you stupid basterd… (Rubbing eyes with the palm of his left hand.)

BTG: Ah-HA! Thought you could trick me, huh?

Naota: That's right.

Crobdan leaps from his moving vespa, caring Eri under his arm and holding his bass with the other.

Crobdan: (Lands gracefully and sets Eri down.) Stop right there Bobha-

CRASH!

Crobdan's vespa crashes right into Crobdan.

Naota: Dumbass.

BTG: Ummm…

Crobdan: (Gets up.) I'm up (Of course you are)!

BTG: Well, if your finished Crobdan, I'll be taking this boy into space with me.

Crobdan: He can't survive is space you child molester!

BTG: All's I need is the head anyways. And I molested jack shit!

Crobdan: Oh yeah right! Mister "I wanna take this here boy into space with me, hi-yuck". What, did you trade your vespa in for a van?

BTG: You're really starting to piss me off!

Crobdan: Old habits are hard to break, jerk!

BTG: Asshole!

Crobdan: Shitbitch!

BTG: ASSLICKER!

Crobdan: NUTCOCKER!

BTG: ASSTYRANT!

Crobdan: CUMCHUGGER-

Eri: Err…Hey Crobdan, how did he know your name?

Crobdan: He's my-

BTG: I AM HIS OLDER BROTHER! BOB THE GREAT! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Crobdan: Why don't you tell them your real name? Bobhasparthenophobia?

BTG: Hey man, shut up.

Naota: Christ, how many brothers does Haruko have?

Crobdan: Fifth-teen brothers and Twenty-nine sisters. But that doesn't mater now!

Eri/Naota: HOW MANY?

BTG: Look, all I want to do, is take this boy. Is that so much to ask?

Crobdan/Eri/Naota: YES!

BTG: Fine… THEN WE SHALL DO BATTLE! Winner gets the kid! Choose your bass!

Naota: Don't I get a say in this?

Crobdan: I'll use my custom ax bass! Rar!

BTG: I'm fine with my trusty Fender Standard Jazz Bass!

Crobdan: Come on brother. Let's get it on!

BTG: You will be no match for BOB THE GREAT! MWA HA HA HA HA HA-

Crobdan: Yes, yes, you're the master of comedy (DAMN YOU INVADER ZIM!). Now are we going to fight or what?

* * *

Meanwhile, at the place… 

Ramza: Commander! There's something I think you should see.

All the view screens light up with images of Crobdan and BTG facing off.

Amarao: Shit! This is too soon! Weren't we supposed to be monitoring BTG? Seriously, what's going on?

Kitsurubami: Apparently he hacked into our computers and made it so they sent false data on his whereabouts. Also, according to this, he switched the coffee in the break room with horse laxatives.

Everyone: …

Ramza: You know, if you would have just agreed with me to build that Starbucks downstairs like I asked-

Kitsurubami: Shut up.

* * *

A little while later… 

Amarao: That tricky basterd! Nobody hacks are computers and gets away with it! Kitsurubami! Get your Anti-tank rifle and-

Kitsurubami: I'm not your little commando anymore Amarao. Besides, do you really expect a Anti-tank rifle to do anything on a-

Amarao: You're right. Ramza!

Ramza: SIR!

Amarao: Get an Anti-tank rifle and meet me at the Medical Mechanical factory.

Ramza: YES SIR!

Amarao: (Gurgle) …Just let me go to the bathroom first…

Kitsurubami: Hey! He's my assistant! Get back here!

* * *

Chris: I dislike this chapter. I'm not sure why… 

Mr. Butlertron: More tea, Wesley?

Chris: Thank you Mr. B. Anyways, I might not be updating for a while. "Might", is the key word in that sentence.

Crobdan: Care to tell why?

Chris: No.

Crobdan: Come on ya jackass. Tell us.

Chris: Are you testing my patience?

Crobdan: Is that even spelled right?

Chris: Grrrr…

Crobdan: On a unrelated note, BTG sure likes to call people names that start with "ass" don't he? Review please! I see no point in flaming.


	12. Once you’ve had Chris, you can’t resist

Siblings: First of all, I hate you. Secondly, I'm being forced to do this against my will. And Thirdly, banana flavored cruise ship.

* * *

THE NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! What's worse? Filling young children's minds with swear words, or beating the crap out of them? Discuss. 

DISCLAIMER: Seeing as how I really, really, REALLY, hate the following four chapters, I decided to combine them all, into one big crappy chapter. Mmmmmyep.

WARNING: I can not write fight scenes.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been 2 years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came… 

Crobdan: RAHHHHHHHHH!

Crobdan slices at BTG who easily dodges it.

BTG: To slow bitch!

KA-WACK!

BTG nails a roundhouse kick right smack dab on Crobdan's face. Shattering Crobdan's nose in the process.

Crobdan: AHHHHHHHHH, FUCK!

SLASH!

BTG slams his bass into Crobdan's leg. Chopping the damn thing in half.

Naota: Oh Christ!

Crobdan: AAAAAHHHHHHHHGGAA!

CRACK!

BTG punches Crobdan's jaw off.

Crobdan: GAK-

BTG picks up Crobdan by the throat. Crobdan, with what little strength he has left, tries kicking him with his one leg.

BTG: Oh Crobdan. You're still the same as you were back home. Weak.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAP!

A long crackling stream of energy runs down BTG's arm and into Crobdan.

Crobdan: (Tries to scream. It's kind of hard if you don't have a jaw.)

BTG: I've wasted enough time with you.

BTG toss's Crobdan into the air.

BTG: SO LONG! BROTHER!

Naota: NO-

SPLERK!

And, with a single slice of his bass. BTG cut his brother in two. Straight down the middle.

Naota: NO! NOOOO! CROBDAN!

Naota rushes over to Crobdan's corpse.

(Chris Commentary: Oh god, I can't even read the next part, it's too horrible, oh god… OH GOD! And I can't even re-write it. Oh god.)

Naota: Oh Crobdan, you died trying to protect me. I… I guess I should of said this earlier, but… But you where acting like such an ass. Crobdan… I'm glad, to have known you… Sorta… It was almost like… Being with Haruko again…

BTG: Oh, please. (Chris Commentary: My thoughts exactly.)

A single teardrop falls from Naotas eye. (Clichéd!)

BTG: Well, enough morning. I'm running late. Come on Naota.

Naota: NO! I'm not going into space with someone who would kill there own brother!

BTG: Look, I don't really care, what YOU, want. Okay? I'm taking you into space whether you like it or not.

BTG grabs onto Naotas hair and starts dragging him to his vespa.

Naota: NO! LET GO! SOMEONE HELP! ANYBODY! HELP! CANTI! HARUKO!

BTG: No one left to help you now kid.

Naota: TASUKU!

Viiiip!

WAAAAAM!

BTG is sent flying right into the handle of the giant Medical Mechanical Iron.

CRASH!

BTG: Owww… What the fuck hit me? Huh?

Naota: You will pay…

There, right in front of him, was a hovering Naota. His arms and legs completely red, with blue energy crackling all around him. The hair on his head turned blood red, and seemed as if it was slicked back. His eyes glowing yellow with rage. In his left hand is Harukos bass.

BTG: (Smiling) I knew it! I KNEW IT! ATOMSK!

Naota/Atomsk: You will pay for what you did to Crobdan, and for all the rest of the crimes you have committed.

BTG: Oh, I think not Atomsk. For you see, I have a little surprise of my own. RAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Chris Commentary: DRAGON BALL ZZZZZZZZZ! BOOGA WOOGA OOGA!)

The sky suddenly gets darker and BTG starts to glow.

BTG: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

BOOOOOOOOM!

A large explosion shakes the dead factory. And smoke covers the area. BTG's screams can no longer be herd.

Naota/Atomsk: BTG! SHOW YOURSELF!

Long silence.

Naota/Atomsk: BTG! COWARD!

An eerie laughter can suddenly be herd.

Naomsk (aka Naota/Atomsk): DAMN IT BTG! SHOW YOURSELF!

A lone figure can be seen descending from the smoke.

Naomsk: BTG?

No longer human like in appearance, BTG has become completely green, blue energy streaming off his body. Eyes glowing neon red. His bass glows with an equally sinister green.

BTG: Hello Atomsk. Long time no see.

* * *

Naomsk: Wha? What's going on? 

BTG: Isn't it obvious? I merged with a Ksmotaopia!

Naomsk: When was this?

BTG: Some time after I broke out of prison.

Naomsk: You should have stayed there…

BTG: The hell would I do that?

Naomsk: Because you dissevered to be there. You DISSERVE to rot in prison!

BTG: Why? To add to that question, why did you put me in there anyways? It wasn't for the money, you didn't accept the reward! And it certainly wasn't for revenge.

Naomsk: You killed innocent people. (Losing patience.)

BTG: So?

Naomsk: So? SO? RAHHH!

Naomsk lunges at BTG, blue lighting blots streaming from both his hands and bass.

BTG: Like I said earlier. To slow.

BTG jumps at the exact moment Naomsk swings his bass. Causing him to temporally louse his balance, Naomsk tries his damnedest to keep from falling over. BTG lands behind Naomsk.

BTG: See, that's the problem with you Atomsk.

BTG leaps once again but in mid-jump, he thrusts his foot into the back of Naomsk's neck.

Naomsk: ACK! (Hacks out blood.)

BTG: You always pick the inexperienced ones.

* * *

MEANWHILES… 

Ramza: I think he's dead sir.

Amarao: Gee, ya think?

Amarao and Ramza stand over a dead Crobdan. He is still split in half, but has apparently re-grown his jaw. And his (right) leg has healed itself so that only the foot is missing.

Amarao: Come on, we can morn the dead when this is over. Right now we have to get to the top of this factory!

Ramza: That must have been one hell of a fight. I mean, this guy is a mess!

Amarao: Yeah, and more are sure to come unless we end this now!

Ramza kneels down and holds up Crobdan's wrist.

Ramza: Uhh… Sir?

Amarao: What now?

Ramza: I think he's still alive.

Amarao: A second ago you said he was dead.

Ramza: Well, that was before I could check his vital signs. He still has a pulse.

Amarao: How can he have a pulse? His heart is over there. (Points to a bloody heart laying on the ground with a foot print in it.)

Ramza: Apparently his race, the Rehus (read **WGYWKY**, you'll get it), have built in back-up hearts. Several, built in back-up hearts. Like… Thirty of um.

Amarao: Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why he's still ALIVE!

Ramza: The Rehus have immeasurable healing factors.

Just than, Crobdan (who has re-grown most of his right face.) stats moving.

Crobdan: …. (Weakly) Haruko….

Amarao looks over to Ramza and says-

Amarao: I see what you mean.

* * *

BTG: Come on Atomsk! You're not even trying! 

BTG is rapidly punching Naomsk. And when I say "rapidly", I mean the only indication that BTG is even making contact is the blood shooting from Naomsk's mouth.

BTG: Where's that power I had to face so many years ago?

Naomsk breaks away from BTG's punches.

Naomsk: You want power? I'll GIVE YOU POWER!

KA-BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Naomsk shoots 3 energy balls from his bass.

BTG: Fuck.

KRACKA-BOOOOOOOM!

A big ass mushroom cloud fills the area where BTG was standing. Or floating. I forget.

Naomsk: Heh.

BTG: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Naomsk: Wha-

CR-ACK! BOOOM!

BTG lunges from the smoke and slams his (left) elbow into Naomsk's ribs at such a high speed he broke the sound barrier.

Naomsk: …

Naomsk falls to the ground. Unconscious, he reverts back to Naota.

BTG: Grrrr… Little bitch… blew off my fucking arm.

BTG tries to force his body to re-grow the arm on the spot. Nothing happens.

BTG: Man, I must have used a lot of energy in that fight. Better revert back to normal to conserve my power.

Viiiip!

BTG, who was originally floating, lands gracefully on the ground with a "thud".

Thud!

BTG: That seemed unnecessary.

Chris: Hey shut up! No breaking the fourth wall! Err… Anymore.

BTG: Sorry.

* * *

Amarao and Ramza are climbing up the Medical Mechanical Factory, Crobdan is being carried up by Ramza. 

Ramza: Umm... Sir? He's bleeding on me.

Crobdan: Of course I'm bleeding on you. I'M MISSING HALF OF MY FUCKIN BODY! YOU STUPID ASSWHORE! (Heh, asswhore... I'm so stupid...)

Amarao: (Thinking) Why did his jaw have to be the first thing to grow back? (Done thinking) Calm down Crobdan. Focus on healing.

Crobdan: I can't believe I'm getting help from YOU! You of all fucking people!

Amarao: Just be glad we didn't leave you down there.

Crobdan: Fuckin hate you both...

* * *

BTG: Hmm… I didn't know he had spikes on the back of his head. 

BTG picks up Naota (with his remaining arm) by the head and turns him gently (Ooooo, be gentle).

BTG: Hmmm… No spikes on the front…

BTG sets Naota down and touches one of the spikes.

BTG: OW! FUCK! That hurt! …Just for that, I'm breaking your legs!

BTG picks up his bass and raises it far above his head. Ready to strike.

BTG: Heh heh. This'll wake you up. Wait… Do I want him to wake up… Hmmm…

Naotas head starts spazing wildly.

BTG: Huh? The hell?

The spikes on Naotas head suddenly get longer and more menacing… But mostly longer.

BTG: Oh no. Please god don't let it be a-

The spikes shoot out more and they are reviled to be a hand.

BTG: Aw… FUCK!

The hand is followed by in arm (what else?), completely covered with jagged, rusty spines. The torso resembles that of a football players shoulder pads, except with twin rocket launchers/energy disruption beam on each side. The legs are exactly like Canti's (But BIGGER!), but the feet are replaced with reinforced steel tank treads. His head looks like a… A Gameboy? That's weird… Anyways, his head looks like a Gameboy with tiny spikes coming off the top. The robot is black from head to toe, with glowing red tubes flowing out of its back. It is forty-five feet tall.

Robot: Start up mode. Activated. Name. Medical Mechanical Deep Combat Robot Number 579837469. Primary Objective. Destroy Any And All Ksmotaopia In The Current Area. Merged Or Whole.

BTG: …Shit.

* * *

Robot: Target Detected. Locking On. 

BTG: Umm… It's a good thing you showed up! That unconscious boy you came out of was about to make his Ksmotaopia attack me! Well, it looks like you have the problem under control so I'll just be lev-

SLASH!

The robot slashes at BTG with its massive claws. Exposing the bone under BTG's flesh.

BTG: AW FUUUCK! THAT'S IT! NO ONE TOUCHES THE FACE AND LIVES! RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

BTG turns into his merged state.

BTG: DIIIII-

* * *

Crobdan: Come on! Hurry up! Where almost there! 

Crobdan is now almost completely healed. He is still missing some of his foot and four of his left fingers.

Amarao: Slow down! Wait for us!

Crobdan: Like hell!

Crobdan grabs his bass out of no were. (Chris Commentary: Running joke.)

Crobdan: I don't need YOUR, help… Anymore…

Crobdan leaps onto his bass and fly's up towards the battle.

Ramza: THAT JERK!

* * *

Robot: Fire Rockets One Though Five-Hundred. 

BTG: IIIIIIIE- …What?

WHOOSH x FIVE-HUNDRED!

BTG: SHIT!

KA-FUCKIN-BOOM! (I'm running out of different sound affects for explosions.)

BTG lands violently behind the robot, smoldering and on fire. The green glow of his Ksmotaopia is slightly fading.

BTG: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow… Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow… Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow… Ow. Ow. Ow.

Robot: Searching. Searching. Target Acquired.

The robots torso turns completely around, keeping its legs facing forward.

Robot: Chain Attached. Fire Hand One.

BLAAM!

The hand of the robot shoots off (with a chain keeping it connected to the arm.) and grabs a hold of BTG. The robot hand squeezes.

BTG: ARRRG!

Robot: Rotation. Activated.

BTG: Rotation? That sounds stupiIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

The robot is spinning its entire body (except the legs, those stay firmly planted.) so fast that a normal humans skin would have peeled off by now.

BTG: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Robot: Chain Extend 9 Feet.

BTG: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

CRRRRRAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!

Turns out the robot was swinging himself only 8 feet away from the handle of the Medical Mechanical Iron. Huh, go figure.

BTG: Uhhhhh… (cough) (cough) (hacks up spooky blue blood.)

The robot squeezes again.

BTG: ARRRRGGGAH!

Robot: Chain Detach.

Clang! (Chain falls from the robots arm.)

BTG: ...Wha?

Robot: Explosion Sequence Activated.

BTG: …Damnit.

BOOOOOM!

BTG, barely moving, the glow now fading in and out.

Robot: Sending Message. Incoming Teleport For New Hand.

VRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

A drill hand materializes on the robot's arm.

VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRR!

The robot runs over towards BTG, the drill hand turned to full power.

BTG: (Very weakly.) Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Crobdan: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

SLAAAASH!

Crobdan swings his bass head first into the robots back. Cutting a major hole into the mechanical monster.

Crobdan: Now that we've opened you up, let's tear you apart!

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Crobdan fires several (hundred) rounds from his bass into the robots open circuitry.

Crobdan: See you in hell you piece of shit!

Crobdan jumps onto his bass and fly's away as fast as he can. But not before picking up Naota.

HOCHKONJUNKTUR! (Germen spelling for Boom! I ran out of sound affects…)

BTG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The explosion had sent BTG flyin.

Crobdan: TAKE THIS!

WACK!

Crobdan flew right in front of BTG and hit him with his bass.

BTG: AGGAH!

Crobdan: LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!

Crobdan does a roundhouse kick (Because I LIKE, roundhouse kicks) to BTG's head, sending him back to the ground.

CRRR-AAAASH!

BTG: AHHHHH! My head!

CRACK!

Crobdan rockets from the sky with his right leg extended, he lands on BTG's stomach. Breaking BTG's spine.

BTG: AHHHHH CHRIST! MY BACK!

Crobdan: And now, to end this.

Crobdan puts the blade of his bass on BTG's neck. Then puts his left foot on the opposite side of the bass. Ready to stomp down at any second.

BTG: cough Okay man. You got me. Now hall me off to jail or whatever and-

Crobdan: I'm ending this right now Bob.

BTG: Come on, stop joking.

Crobdan: I'm not joking. (Crobdan has never sounded more serious in his life then he does right now.)

BTG: Oh come on! You can't kill me! I'm your brother…

Crobdan: (Points to face.) This is me not caring.

BTG: No man! No! NO! How would you be able to live with yourself?

Crobdan: Good question... But I don't care.

BTG: NOOOOOOOO-

STOMP! SPLERT!

20 minute pause.

Crobdan: Goodbye Bobhasparthenophobia. Goodbye.

Crobdan spits on BTG, gets on his vespa (that's where he left Naota) and light a cigarette.

Crobdan: I'm getting to old for this.

* * *

Chris: I really, REALLY, need to learn how to write fight scenes. 

Crobdan: Damn right.

Chris: Review please. Flame if you feel the need to tell someone there work sucks instead of working on your own shit writing.


	13. All my effects are cheap, special or oth...

Siblings: Great, now I've got "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. Again.

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! Oh god, I'm so tired. 

DISCLAIMER: If I could do anything, I'd want to be able to walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Choking gets damn annoying after a while.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years since Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, until the day he came… 

Amarao: Come on team! We have to get this mess cleaned up pronto!

Ramza: Sir, the salvage team found something you may be interested in.

Three unnamed (unimportant) soldiers wheel over a stretcher with a body bag on it.

Amarao: Who is it?

Ramza: BTG sir.

Amarao: …Shit, really?

(Ziiiiip!)

Ramza unzips the bag (as if it wasn't obvious enough) and is greeted with a battered and bloody (not to mention smelly) BTG.

Amarao: Mother Fucker! How'd he die?

Ramza: Unzip further sir.

(Ziiiiip!)

Amarao: (Notices there's a big space between the neck and the body.) Oh GOD! That's dis- Wait a second… Why hasn't he healed himself yet?

Ramza: Decapitation is the only known way to kill a Rehus. At this point we are still trying to figure out why-

Crobdan: The brain-

Amarao/Ramza: AHHHH! Where did you come from?

Crobdan: From behind you.

Everyone: …

Crobdan: As I was saying, the brain has to be connected to the rest of the body in order for our healing factors to work. Heh!

Ramza: Well, I guess that explains it.

Crobdan: It sure does.

Amarao: But then how come you didn't die when BTG cut you in half?

Crobdan: Only half of my brain was separated from my body. All of it would have to be in order for me to actually die. BTG must have forgotten about that because… Well… he's an idiot. Or was an idiot. Hee hee, I'm so funny. I should write for UPN. But then again, I don't know how to write for black characters, still, I guess I could-

Ramza: (Interrupting) SO… does that mean the left side of you grew back to? And there's a second one of you wondering around somewhere?

Crobdan: No, of course not… (Eye's shift from side to side.)

Unnamed Soldier #1: You have real shifty eyes mister.

Crobdan gives him the evil eye for a while.

Crobdan: Anyways… I'll be-

Unnamed Soldier #1: No really. They be REAL, shifty. (Crobdan pulls out his bass. His bass now in the shape of a chainsaw for some reason.) Like you're hiding something-

BLAM!

The soldier falls to the ground. Head completely blown off. Crobdan straps the bass to his back.

Ramza: HOLY SHIT!

Crobdan: ANYWAY… I'll be taking my brothers corpse now.

Amarao: You can't come up here and kill MY soldiers-

Kitsurubami: YOU'RE SOLDIERS?

One pissed off Kitsurubami jumps off a nearby helicopter (seemingly out of nowhere, I'm such a hack) and comes storming up to our heroes.

Kitsurubami: You mean MY, soldiers!

Amarao: Aw fuck…

Kitsurubami: It's bad enough you took my assistant with out even asking me, but it's an even worse thing to take my entire staff and make them participate in this unauthorized clean up job!

Amarao: Look, I can explain-

Kitsurubami: I don't want some bullshit excuse! I want to know why you still think you're still in control?

Amarao: What are you talking about-

Kitsurubami: I'm talking about when you retired- No. QUIT! You QUIT, because you couldn't accept the fact that she left! The only reason you took the job of being the Commander of the IIB (Interstellar Immigration Bureau) in the first place was so you could maybe see her again someday! But when she left for good, you wouldn't let yourself believe it!

Amarao: I… I-

Kitsurubami: You fell into a depression. You wouldn't work, you wouldn't go outside. Hell, you wouldn't even SLEEP!

Amarao: …

Kitsurubami: Look, the point is, when you quit, you gave your position to me! But now, that something similar to what happened two years ago is happening, you suddenly act like you're the commander again! She's not coming back! She's NEVER, coming back! Accept it!

Amarao: ….

Kitsurubami: (sigh) Okay, that was a little harsh.

Ramza: Commander Kitsurubami, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Crobdan and BTG are missing.

Kitsurubami: WHAT? Shit, when did this happen?

Ramza: Somewhere between the point where you told Amarao he quit and when you told Amarao Haruko wasn't coming back.

Kitsurubami: Fuck. Well that's just great!

Gets out a megaphone.

Kitsurubami: OKAY EVERYONE! LET'S RAP THIS UP AND GO HOME!

Ramza: Why did you say that? We haven't finished savaging the parts of the robot yet.

Kitsurubami: BTG was the main ejective. We still don't know all we can about the Rehus; an autopsies would have been exactly what we needed.

Ramza: Me and Amarao did get a peak at Crobdan's insides when he was still cut in half.

Kitsurubami: Good, I expect the report of what you and Amarao witnessed on my desk by tomorrow- Hey, where IS Amarao? …Anybody see were Amarao went?

Everyone shrugs there shoulders.

Ramza: That was a little creepy that everyone did that at the same time.

Kitsurubami: (Whispering) …Amarao… I'm sorry.

* * *

Crobdan: That was a horrible ending for this chapter. 

Chris: Shut up… Just, shut up…

Crobdan: What's the matter with you?

Chris: Headache. Hurts… Ow.

Crobdan: Pussy.

Chris: I hate you… Ouch! My heeeead…

Crobdan: Suck it up, be a man.

Chris: Just say your god damn line! Ow…

Crobdan: Fine ya whiny bitch. REVIEW PLEASE! NO FLAMERS!

Chris: ARRRRRRRHHHHHH! YOU ASSHOLE! AHHGA! MY HEAD!


	14. Oh god…

Siblings: Damn you people are into that fruit named woman. Not that I can blame you.

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. THINKING! YOU BUFFOON! YOU CARPET BAGGER! I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT'S FOR! I SO STUPID! (Sobs uncontrollably) Don't ask me to explain that. Because then I would have to fully explain it. And (Quote start) you're not fully explained until you're Zestfully explained. Or so I've heard. (End Quote) Also, I don't know why I quoted that. It just sorta fit. 

DISCLAIMER: Bah! This is the most confusing thing I've ever written. Sorta. What are you, some kinda cracker? I like crackers! …Yes, I know that wasn't funny. Shut up. I'm not here to amuse you. I'm here to amuse me.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came… wait… 

Crobdan: (Caring BTG under his arm) Ha! Losers! They didn't even see me leave! Bunch of idiots…

Crobdan, wait… Crobdan? You mean to tell me there's two of them? God dammit: Well, well, well. Look who it is.

Crobdan: Who am I looking at?

Crobdan: Dude… Shut up.

Crobdan: Good comeback.

Crobdan: That wasn't a comeback! I think… Anyways, you do realize your caring BTG right?

Crobdan: Oh really? …Ah, yes! It is BTG! Wow! Thanks for pointing that out! All this time I thought I was caring a duple bag of some sorts! I can't believe it! It would seem you are far more observant than I!

Crobdan: God dammit shut up!

Crobdan: Hey, you were the one who made the incredibly stupid comment. I had every right to make fun of you!

Crobdan: …Yeah… I guess your right.

Crobdan: Shouldn't you be with Naota or something?

Crobdan: Shouldn't you know better then to steal from the government?

Crobdan: No. No I do not.

Crobdan: I'm going to get blamed for this you know.

Crobdan: That I do know. It's gonna be so funny when they catch you.

Crobdan: You're such an asshole!

Crobdan: And proud of it.

* * *

AT THE HOSPITAL! GAH! 

(Eri and a doctor are standing in front of Naota. Naota is in a full body brace, tubes sticking in and out of him. I like tubes…)

Eri: Is he going to be alright Doc?

Dr. KidKill: I've found that such a thing cannot be sensibly discerned after a week and a half. Ask me again in 355 days.

Eri: …It hasn't been a week and a half yet.

Dr. KidKill: Oh… Okay then… What I meant to say was… (Looks at charts.) He'll live. What I don't get is how a little boy could get multiple skull fractures, two black eyes, a broken nose, a sprained wrist, a broken knee cap and five broken ribs. And are you aware that your little friend doesn't seem to have a brain?

Eri: Uhhh… Yes.

Dr. KidKill: …Okay, just checking.

(Dr. KidKill leaves the room. DRAMATIC!)

Eri: Oh, Naota. What happened to you? I can't stand to see you like this. (Starts crying.) I should have been there. Maybe… Maybe I could have helped you…

Crobdan: Not bloody likely.

Eri: AHHHHH! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

Crobdan: From behind you. (Points behind him.)

Eri: How long have you been behind me?

Crobdan: The whole time. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyways, how-

Eri: Hey! That is creepy! You're creepy, Crobdan! (AGGAAHH! Why did I quote Invader Zim so much? AGGAHHH! WHY? WHY? WHY? SO STUPID! ARRGAHH!)

Crobdan: Hehe... Yeah, I sure am. Anyways, how is Naota doing?

Eri: Doctor said he'll live. But it'll take a while before he can leave the hospital.

Crobdan: How long?

Eri: About two months.

Crobdan: …Tw-Two months? DID YOU JUST SAY TWO MOTHER FUCKING MONTHS? I can't wait that long! Two months, Jesus Christ!

(Crobdan rolls up his sleeve.)

Eri: What are you doing?

Crobdan: I'm going to give him some of my blood.

Crobdan pulls out a glowing syringe (Out of where remains to be seen) and sticks it into his arm.

Crobdan: AGGH! Fuck! (I gotta come up with a new swear, but seriously, I talk pretty much exactly like this, well, the cursing part anyways…)

Eri: Wha… What! You can't give him blood! …You're an alien!

Crobdan: What are we, a racist now?

Eri: You know what I mean!

Crobdan: Don't worry. The only thing my blood will do to Naota is give him an advanced healing factor and the strength of ten thousand little boys (I can accept this Invader Zim quote, I'm okay with it). And don't you worry your pretty underage head, it'll only be temporary.

Eri: …Well…

Crobdan: THEN IT IS SETTLED!

(Crobdan shoves the needle into Naota's neck. Ow. Eri's mouth hangs open, like any self-respecting Anime characters would do.)

TEN MINUTES PASS!

Eri: ………Is it supposed to take this long?

Crobdan: …Wait for it…

(The camera takes us outside. Giving us a nice view of the hospital.)

BOOOOOM!

(The window of the room Naota is in suddenly explodes. Or exploded, me not good with English. Where be the women at?)

(Camera takes us back inside Naotas room. The whole place is a burning mess. Eri is on the floor, semi-conscious. Crobdan apparently got slammed into the wall by the explosion, as can be seen by the big ass hole in the wall with Crobdan's legs sticking out. Naota, who is for some reason, glowing, smiles and then says-)

Naota: I ma ekawa! Won, I tsum dnif a namow ot etam htiw!

(Naota points to Eri.)

Naota: Uoy! Uoy lliw od ylecin!

(Naota grabs Eri and jumps out the window. Fun!)

Crobdan: (Drifting in and out of consciousness) …On rare occasions… Subject will be allergic to blood… and as a… side affect, will go… temperedly insane…. Check please…

* * *

Chris: I wish I could talk backwards. 

Crobdan: I wish you could stop being a dumbass.

Chris: You're just mad because you were blown though a wall.

Crobdan: Damn right that's the reason! You son of bitch!

Chris: Kcuf uoy!

Crobdan: What did you say?

Chris: I said "Fuck you!".

Crobdan: I hate you…

Chris: I feel the same way.

Naota: Weiver esaelp. On sremalf.

Chris: I should really translate that. But I'm sure my readers will be able to figure it out.

Crobdan: You're joking right?

Chris: Fine, the punctuation and the word order stay the same. The words themselves are the only things spelled backwards.

Crobdan: Good boy.

Chris: Shut up.


	15. Whatever you do, don’t look behind you

Siblings: EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS TRYING TO STUPID ME TO DEATH!

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'. If I let you crush my face then I have to let everyone crush my face, and eventually it will get in the way of productivity. The sequel to Siblings probably won't be coming out Saint H. Because fan fiction dot net hates it. 

DISCLAIMER: Measure Your Pleasure!

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came… 

Naota is running/hoping thought the street, still glowing. (Caring Eri under his arm.) Having become temporarily insane after having a blood transfuse from Crobdan. To make matters worse, as another side affect of the alien blood, he now has super strength and an advanced healing factor. And he won't stop talking backwards! Son of a bitch! Drama! So much drama!

Naota: Tsum dnif a dedulces ecalp rof su ot etam!

Naota turns a corner and ends up right in front of car.

Iloveraharu: FUCK!

CRASH!

Naota runs right through the car. Splitting it in two. Iloveraharu manages to jump from the car before it explodes in a violent… explosion... Like all good cars should do at moments like this.

KA-BOOM!

Iloveraharu: Shit… Maybe running away from home wasn't such a good idea (IN-JOKE! MUWAHAHAHAHAH! PAIN!)… Was that Naota? Wait. How do I know Naota… OH GOD! THE FOURTH WALL IS CLOSING UP AROUND ME! NOOOOOOOOOOO-

SQUISH!

* * *

FUCK! MEANWHILE! 

Naota: Ah! Ah! Ah! Diputs namuh. Eh saw on hctam rof ym laiceps ecuas!

Naota runs off the road and into an open field of openness.

Crobdan: Halt! (Crobdan does that halt thing that people do with there hand when they yell halt)

Once again, Crobdan shows his hidden power to make himself show up when ever it's convenient for me. He is holding his axbass in one hand and a slurpee in the other. Mmm… slurpee.

Naota: Hctib! Teg tuo fo ym yaw! I tsum etam htiw siht lrig!

Crobdan: Don't let her here you say that! (sip) Mmm… Its cherry flavor! Cherry with a dash of ACTION!

Naota: Tuhs pu! Ho, oh! Aha! Pets no on step. Avalon no, lava no, Avalon on lava no. Ton a but, tub a not.

Crobdan: Don't use your palindromes on me!

Naota: Racecar!

Crobdan: …This is getting stupid… (sip)

Naota: I TSUM ETAM!

Crobdan: Look Naota, you may want to right now. But tomorrow, you would regret it the rest of your life… Until you think about it for a while… And then you'll go and brag about it to your friends, and they'll all hate, but you won't care because you'll no longer be a virgin! But then you'll get your penis stuck in an escalator, so you have to cancel your second date with the school nurse, but since you listed her as your legal guardian they'll call her and tell her what happened and… I AM NOT BASING THIS OFF OF PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!

Naota: …I TSUM ETAM!

Eri: Uhhh… What happened?

Naota: UOY! I TSUM ETAM HTIW UOY WON!

Eri: What?

Crobdan: OH NO YOU DON'T! You're keeping those pants on! At least when I'm around dammit! (sip)

Crobdan lunges at Naota.

Eri: WHAT?

Naota: REVEN!

CRACK!

Crobdan hits Naota in the head with his bass. Naota crashes into a nearby tree. Snapping it in half. Doses anyone else find it weird there's a tree in an open field? I find it weird. I also find toy racecars underneath my mom's car every morning. I blame the racecar gnomes.

Crobdan: Bullseye! (sip)

Naota: Wo! Taht truh!

Crobdan: Of course it hurt! Stupid…

Naota: EID!

Naota charges at Crobdan, who in return just holds up his bass. Naota, being insane, doesn't care, and continues his charge.

Naota: M'I ANNOG LLIK UOY!

KA-WACK!

And of course, he runs right into the bass. Naota falls to the ground.

Eri: That was so stupid…

Naota: Hhhhhhhhooohhhh… What's going on?

Crobdan: Umm… You fell... (sip)

Naota: …Well, that explains the bump on my head. Why am I outside?

Crobdan: …You fell outside. Duh!

Naota: …What'd I fall off of?

Crobdan looks around. Realizes there in an open field.

Crobdan: …That tree over there.

Naota: …You mean that tree that's snapped in half? You mean that tree that's about ten feet away from us? That tree that I couldn't have possibly fallen off of, because if I did I wouldn't have landed all the way over here? (Worst line of dialog ever) ...That tree Crobdan?

Crobdan: …Yes…. (sip)

Naota: …Oh, I'm too tired to argue with you. Let's just go home.

* * *

MEANWHILE! IN THE UNITED STATES! 

Tandori Jones: Oh god! It's you Anime nerds again!

Wopgnuk: Look, all I'm saying is that if they made the show entirely about Batou and the spider robots with the little girl voices, it would have been the best show ever!

Tetsuro: …I was talking about Zatch Bell…

Wopgnuk: …Oh… well… Zatch Bell sucks!

Tetsuro: Dude, fuck you!

Tandori Jones: You, Wopgnuk, stop talking to my roommate and get the hell out of my room.

Agnamaz: (WAS, hiding behind a recliner) AWWW! You're so mean!

Tandori Jones: Well look who it is! It's the token Anime loving girl nerd.

Agnamaz: Shut up! (Sniff)

Tandori Jones: You have to leave to. (Points to Agnamaz)

Wopgnuk: Come on! Let us stay!

Tandori Jones: No.

Wopgnuk: …Agnamaz will pleasure you orally.

Agnamaz: What!

Tandori Jones: …Throw in five bucks and you got yourself a deal.

Agnamaz: WHAAAT!

Wopgnuk: Come on Agnamaz! It'll be just like when you practice giving blowjobs to that dildo you think I don't know about!

Agnamaz: (Blushing) AHHHHH!

Mamimi: (In the next room, reading a photo magazine) God must hate me…

Tetsuro: Speaking of which, Mamimi, your half of the rent is late!

* * *

Chris: This chapter was cheap and effective. Also, for the re-write, I decided to put Mamimi into my fan fiction. She will never, ever, interact with Naota. EVER. 

Crobdan: You know, if you ask me, I don't think putting Mamimi in the fan fiction just to please a few fans is a good idea.

Chris: NO ONE ASKED YOU. GET QUITE QUIET OR GET QUITE DEAD.

Crobdan: …Review please! No flamers! I can't stress that enough! Really. Flaming is stupid. Just because you write better and/or can't write for shit, gives you no reason to make fun of my writing. Or rather, Chris's writing… Mmmmmyep… I feel like such a tool.


	16. I disapprove of profanity

Siblings: Oh my god, your hand is awesome!

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER: I'm thinking of trying romance. Yeah. Stay tuned folks. Also, weak chapter.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years since Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came…

Eri, Crobdan and Naota are all sleeping on the floor of Naotas room. You know, 'cause his bed burned down, or something. Naota and Eri have moved closer to each other in there sleeping state. There face's just microns apart.

Naota: (Talking in sleep.) ….Eri, please… No more ice cream…. Euurrr…

Eri: (Ditto.) … Oh, Naota…… Not in public… What would ……people say?... Ooooo… that feels so good… Ooooo… harder…

Crobdan: (Ditto. Hey! Déjà vu!) … No, Mayumi… You can't come to earth with me… Well, yeah… I guess you could… go and not tell me… But why would… you do that-

Kamon: Breakfast! Get down here! I don't want you all to leave again and do god knows what with out telling me first!

Eri/Naota: Huh? Wha?

Eri and Naota see how close they are to each other.

Eri/Naota: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Crobdan: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Eri/Naota: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Eri/Crobdan/Naota: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kamon: Jesus, stop screaming!

* * *

Crobdan and Eri run franticly down the stairs, both nearly tripping over Miyu-Miyu. Naota is very far behind.

Eri: Hurry up Naota!

Naota: You guys are so immature. I mean, I can understand Crobdan, he's in idiot. But you?

Eri: Have you seen Crobdan eat?

Naota: No.

Eri: Well if you want your breakfast you better get down there before he does!

Naota: (Rolling eyes) I'll keep that in mind.

Kamon: Don't you kids worry! I made extra! SO MUCH EXTRA! (Strikes pose)

Crobdan and Eri both sit down. Kamon sets down a BIG plate of waffles. Nevermind the fact that I've never heard of Japanese people eating waffles. Just roll with it.

Crobdan: EWWWW! What are these?

Naota pulls up a seat.

Naota: There waffles stupid…

Crobdan: I'm not going to eat that!

Eri: What are you, scared?

Crobdan: SCARED? CROBDAN IS SCARED OF NOOOOTHING! I will try them... I guess.

Crobdan reluctantly takes a forkful of waffle and shoves it in his mouth. He chews for awhile and then swallows.

Crobdan: Hey, these aren't half bad! What's in 'em?

Kamon: (Looks at the back of the Waffle Mix box) I dunno, I can't read English.

Naota: (Under his breath) You sure are speaking it well…

* * *

Meanwhile in space, One week earlier…

Alien Mechanic: Here's your pink vespa little lady. All ready for deep space travel! And a built in snow cone machine!

Unknown Girl: Thanks sweetie! (giggle)

A.M. aka Alien Mechanic: (Blushing.) Heh, heh. What does a pretty girl like you need a deep space vespa for anyways?

U.G. aka Unknown Girl: I need to see my boyfriend again. (sniff) I miss him so much…

A.M: (Disappointed. It's very lonely being a mechanic.) Oh, how long has it been since you've seen him?

U.G.: (sniff) Two weeks! (sniff) I MISS HIM! (Starts crying.)

A.M: Uhh… Yeah, well anyways, about the bill-

U.G.: I miss the way the he used to call me his lover. And the way he used to stroke my legs. (Still crying.)

A.M.: …About the bill-

U.G.: And I especially miss what he used to do to me in bed. Ooooo… Just thinking about it makes me wet-

A.M.: ABOUT THE BILL!

U.G.: Bill? (Clinton?)

A.M.: Yeah, the vespa cost Fifty thousand. The paint job cost Ten hundred. The deep space attachments cost Thirty million. Making your total-

The U.G. lifts up her shirt. The floor is soaked by the blood from the A.M.'s nose.

U.G.: What is my total?

A.M.: (Lost in ecstasy) It's on the house…

U.G.: Thanks! (giggle) (Puts shirt down.)

The U.G. hops onto her vespa and starts it up.

A.M.: … (snaps out of it.) Wha… Wait! If this whole boyfriend thing doesn't work out, maybe we could… Get a coffee at the new Starbucks or something? (Even in space…)

U.G.: Awww, how cute! …Maybe when you get older.

A.M.: OLDER? I'm twenty-one years old! You look younger then me!

U.G.: Younger? I'm a hundred and ninety-five years old.

A.M.: You mean…

U.G.: Yep! I'm a Rehus!

And with that, she flew off.

* * *

Chris: And the plots keep on coming! Rather badly thought. Damn.

Crobdan: OOOOOOO! Am I gonna get some sex?

Chris: …………What dose that have to do with anything?

Crobdan: Just a question…

Kamon: Review please.

A.M.: No flamers.

Crobdan: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!


	17. Ehhh

Siblings: Two girls, one cock, all action.

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER: VERZICHT!

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, until the day he came…

Naota: So dad. How is it that you know Crobdan? And why is he staying here? Did he run you over?

Kamon: Nah, I ran him over…

Naota: WHAT?

* * *

FLASHBACKER!

Crobdan: Damn, Naotas heavy…

Eri: Wouldn't it have been easier to just have carried Naota on your vespa instead of on your back.

Crobdan: …Oh god dammit! I knew I was forgetting something…

Kamon: (In his car) Man, it sure it is fogy out today. I sure hope I don't hit someone. Yep! It sure would be a shame if I sudden hit some poor soul, possible carrying something so they can't move out of the way quick enough… But what are the chances of some idiot walking into the middle of the road anyways?

Eri: Are you sure it's safe to be walking in the middle of the road Crobdan?

Crobdan: Suuuuuure! Why not? …Besides? What are the chances that a car would be out driving on a day as fogy as this?

Kamon: AHHHHH! GET OUT OF THE ROAD!

Crobdan: Wha?

WHAAAAM!

* * *

Kamon: And that's what happened. (Takes a bite of his breakfast.) Mmm… I make good waffles…

Crobdan: You sure do old man!

Kamon: Don't call me old man.

Naota: Is that what made you stupid?

Crobdan: What did?

Naota: Grrrr… Being hit by my dad's truck!

Crobdan: When was this?

Naota: AHHGA! YOU IDIOT!

Crobdan: HA! I'm just kidding ya. Being hit by your dad's truck didn't turn me into an idiot. I was always like this.

Eri: An idiot?

Crobdan: Yes- I mean no. No. Shut up.

* * *

MEANWHILE…

Gaku: I can't believe they repaired the school so quickly.

Masashi: Yeah, but did you hear what happened to all the bakeries in town?

Gaku: What?

Masashi: They where all destroyed! Eyewitness's say it was the same guy who trashed the school!

Gaku: Holy shit! Did they catch him?

Masashi: No, but-(Masashi looks up.) Hey, can falling stars be seen in the daylight?

Gaku: No. Not that I know of.

Masashi: Oh... RUN!

A large fireball comes crashing down to earth. Just a few blocks from where Gaku and whatshisface where.

KA-BLAM!

One huge explosion rocks the area. When the smoke clears, a lone figure (and a vespa) lay face down in a big ass crater.

U.G.: Owww…

* * *

MEANWHILE, ON THE OUTSKIRTS!

Kitsurubami: Any sign of Amarao?

Ramza: No sightings so far. But we are detecting a small object heading straight for Mabase.

Kitsurubami: WHAT? Why didn't you mention this earlier?

Ramza: I don't know. Plot hole?

Kitsurubami: …Umm… Okay. Anyways, when will it make contact-

KA-BLAM!

(The whole building shakes. Causing everyone to lose there balance. The shaking dies down after a couple of minuets.)

Ramza: (getting up) Commander?

Kitsurubami: (still on her ass… and what a nice ass it is. Reow!) What the fuck was that? What hit us?

Ramza: Energy signals show that of a… Great, another one.

Kitsurubami: Aw shit. Is it a Rehus?

Ramza: Afraid so.

Kitsurubami: Oh damn it all…

* * *

MEANWHILE! IN THE US!

(Knock! Knock!)

Tandori Jones: (Sitting on couch watching The Daily Show) Mamimi! Get the door!

Mamimi: (In the bathroom) Screw you! I'm in the bathroom!

Tandori Jones: (Switches the channel and presses six buttons simultaneous on the remote control) …According to the bathroom cam your just reading one of your stupid photo magazines again.

Mamimi: I thought I told you to take uninstall the bathroom cam!

Tandori Jones: Hey! You know web cams are my fetish!

Mamimi: I swear, if I knew how to uninstall that thing myself I would so kick your ass!

Tandori Jones: I bet you would.

(Knock! Knock!)

Tandori Jones: … Tetsuro! Get the door! Cause miss **COLLEGE** girl doesn't want to get off her ass!

Mamimi: (Under her breath) Ehhh… patience Mamimi… patience… you'll get your revenge… soon enough…

Tandori Jones: The bathroom cam is still on Mamimi.

Mamimi: DAMMIT ALL! (Throws shoe at cam, cam lens brakes)

(Knock! Knock!)

Tandori Jones: Tetsuro! Get the fucking door door!

Tetsuro: Ehhh… It's probably my friends.

Tandori Jones: Your friends aren't welcome here!

Tetsuro: What? Why?

Tandori Jones: Because Agnamaz wouldn't pleasure me orally like Wopgnuk said she would. That asshole and his slut sister.

Wopgnuk: (On the other side of the door) Were right outside your fucking door!

Tandori Jones: Duh! I know!

* * *

Chris: …… I really have nothing to say about this chapter. Except it's not one of my better ones.

Crobdan: Oh come on! Say something so I can insult ya!

Chris: Not today Crobdan… Not today…

Crobdan: FINE! I don't need you to have fun!

Five minutes later…

Crobdan: I'M SO FUCKIN BORED!

Eri: Review please. No flamers.


	18. Stop tasting me

Siblings: And now, unconsciousness.

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER/WARNING: Story might not be as descriptive as some fuckers might want it to be. NOW WE WILL FIGHT WITH KNIVES.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came…

Crobdan: Did you guys hear something?

Naota/Eri/Kamon: No…

Crobdan: …Never, do that again. It's creepy. Really creepy. Like that time I woke up with all those fingers in my mouth creepy.

Eri: …(Looks at watch.) Oh my god! Were like, five days late for school! (I have no concept of time.)

Naota: Aw CRAP! I knew I was forgetting something! (Slaps head.) Huh? What's this?

Crobdan: Holy shit! You got a new horn! And it's freakin pink! Ha!

(Indeed it was! A pink flower shaped nub has sprouted from Naotas head. Nub, nub, nub.)

Eri: …Words fail me.

Naota: DAAAAAMMIT! (Looking in mirror.) Why is it flower shaped?

Crobdan: Beats me. Gay engineering?

Naota: How am I going to go to school like this?

Crobdan: Why not just not go to school? You've been doing great so far.

Eri: Because some of us want to get an education so when we get older we can get nice, well paying jobs. (I could make a prostitute joke but…)

Crobdan: Jobs are over rated.

Kamon: I hear that!

Ding! Ding!

Crobdan: What's that?

Kamon: Someone's ringing the service bell. I'll be right back.

Naota: We have a service bell?

Kamon walks out of the kitchen and into the front of the bakery. Sitting himself behind the counter.

Kamon: Yes, what can I do for you.

U.G.: Got anything spicy?

Kamon: Well, we have the newly improved spicy curry bread. A current resident asked if we could re-continue it.

U.G.: Sounds good. How much?

Kamon: $10.89. (I also have no concept of money. But I have a concept for love, ladies I'm single.)

U.G.: Will this cover it?

Slams down a solid gold brick. At least, I hope it's gold.

Kamon: ………..That will just barely cover the charges. (Thinking) Oh please god let her be stupid enough to fall for that. Oh please god please! (Done Thinking)

U.G.: Okay! (Grabs the bag containing the bread.) Thank you!

Kamon: (Holding gold brick.) No, thank you-

Crobdan comes in, holding an empty plate.

Crobdan: Hey Kamon, can you make some more waffles? We ran out. We ran out bad.

Eri's voice can be herd from the other room shouting-

Eri: Jesus Christ man! There was like fifty of them!

U.G.: (almost out the door.) Cro… Crobdan? (Turns head around. Like seven times, woo.)

Crobdan: (Looks at U.G.) Mayumi? Shit, is that you?

Mayumi: CROBDAN!

Crobdan: OH FUC-

Mayumi tackles Crobdan right threw the wall.

Mayumi: (Mayumi is currently laying on top of Crobdan, while squeezing his ribs extremely tightly… That didn't sound right.) Oh, Crobdan! I never thought I would see you again!

Crobdan: Organs... exploding... stomach… coming out… ears…

Eri: Crobdan looks like he's in a lot of pain.

Naota: Yeah… I'll go make some popcorn. You go get the sodas.

Eri: Okay!

Crobdan: As soon… as my skeleton stops being shattered… UGH!... I'm going to kill you two… ACK!... Mayumi… please let go… AHH!...

* * *

Chris: And a rather weak ending to an otherwise eventful chapter!

Crobdan: Yeah, Chris is not gonna update so much for a while, maybe. Even thought he said that before he has a reason this time.

Chris: Writers block! It SUCKS!

Crobdan: So anyways… Please review. No Flamers. Flamers are just people who are compensating for have small penises.


	19. Get your hand out of there

Siblings: Let's go webcaming!

* * *

NOTE: This is written from Naotas point of view, and sometimes others. I'm ADD so I like to switch a lot. Words in all capitols mean yelling. Or spelling errors. YOU DECIDE! This is also written in 'Movie-script format'.

DISCLAIMER: Well maybe everyone's changed, except you haven't changed, which makes you the one who changed, because it's all relevant.

* * *

Nothing ever exciting happens here. It's been two years sense Haruko and Mamimi left, both on there own separate paths, leaving me here. In Mabase. A town that's as boring as hell, that is, in till the day he came…

Eri, Naota, Crobdan and Mayumi are all sitting at the kitchen table. Mayumi is hugging Crobdan's arm while rubbing her face up and down his shoulder. Crobdan looks hella pissed. That, and his ears and eyes are bleeding.

Eri: So, how old are you? Eighteen? Nineteen?

Mayumi: One hundred and ninety five!

Eri: …I see.

Naota: You sure do like the older women Cro-

Crobdan: SHUT UP! SHUT! THE! FUCK! UP! I'm the one who gave you that line in the first place! ME! GOD DAMMIT!

Naota slides into his chair. Shocked and confused.

Naota: (Under his breath) Wasn't expecting that…

Mayumi: Awww, is Crobdan mad? I know what'll cheer you up…

Mayumi slides her hand down Crobdan's pants.

Crobdan: AH CHRIST WOMAN! Don't do that!

Mayumi: …Why?

Crobdan: There are children in the room!

Mayumi: (Starts stroking Crobdan's chest.) You know, I've always wanted children…

Crobdan: AHHHHGA! ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX!

Mayumi: So? Isn't that all a guy thinks about?

Crobdan: Well, yeah. But that's not the point!

Mayumi: Oh come on! You know you want these! (Pulls up shirt. Exposing breasts.)

Naota: HOLY FUCK! (Nose starts bleeding.)

POW!

Eri punches Naota right in the face.

Eri: Pervert!

Naota: OOOW! I didn't even do anything!

Crobdan: AHHH! Put those away! (Pulls down her shirt.)

Mayumi: What's the deal? You were never this uptight back home!

Crobdan: Things are different here! You can't just flash your tits when ever you want to!

Mayumi: That's stupid! But it still doesn't mean we can't have sex!

Crobdan: Yes it doses! I mean- What I meant was- AHHHHHRRRA! You just don't get it!

(The sound of Crobdan and Mayumi arguing can be heard in the background.)

Eri: (Whispering) Maybe we should leave…

Naota: (Ditto) I concur. Let's get out of here. And that fuckin hurt!

Eri: (Ditto once again) Sorry…

Naota: (You get the idea) Ehhh… That's okay… I should have expected that. We did after all watch Love Hina yesterday.

* * *

MEANWHILE YOU BASTARD!

Kitsurubami: Have you identified the Rehus yet?

Ramza: Opening file… Now!

(All the view screens light up with information. Sexy information.)

Kitsurubami: Name. Mayumi Imaishi. Age. One hundred and ninety five. Number of arrests. Zero. Is that it?

Ramza: Afraid so commander.

Kitsurubami: Dammit! That info was useless! And we still don't know why she's here!

Random worker number one: Commander! We found something we think you might be interested in!

(A large energy cage is wheeled in.)

Crobdan: LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKERS!

(ZAAAAAP!)

Crobdan: OW! GOD DAMN ENERGY CAGE! I HATE YOU AND YOUR MOTHER!

Random worker number one: I found him outside. Trapped in one of our energy snares.

Kitsurubami: Good job. Expect a bonus in your next pay check.

Crobdan: GET ME OUT OF HERE! YOU SEXY BITCH YOU! YEAH! SHAKE THAT ASS! I MEAN! OUT! I WANT OUT! DAMN YOU! OUT!

Kitsurubami: Ugh. He's giving me a headache… Throw him into the underground prison! We'll study him later…

Crobdan: Wha?

Random worker number one: YES COMMANDER!

(RWNO wheels Crobdan away.)

Crobdan: GOD DAMMIT! AVENGE ME!

Random worker number two: But commander, the computer says that Crobdan is still at the Nandaba residence.

Kitsurubami: Say what?

Ramza: I believe I might be able to clear this all up.

* * *

Chris: My chapters are becoming progressively shorter.

Crobdan/Crobdan: And stupider.

Chris: Fuck, two of you?

Crobdan/Crobdan: Don't act surprised you dumbass…

Chris: I hate you guys. Soooooooo MUCH!

Crobdan: Yeah, we know.

Crobdan: Yeah, that joke got old really fast you know.

Chris: Bite me.

Mayumi: Pleases review! No flamers!


End file.
